it amazes me...

It amazes me how fast drain rock is comes out of the wheelbarrow, especially considering how slow it goes in, and it's lightning fast compared to the many, many, loads of dirt and soil I've moved so far. I swear if I am not very fit, and very strong by the end of this project I am going to be very disappointed.

I've also been thinking about why working on the house upsets me so much, aside from the fact that I had not planned on helping AT ALL (when was that ever the truth, eh). I think it's 'cause this is J's project, J's plan, and J's house. He's building his own home and gets credit for it. He's seen as unstoppable, a machine. While the assumption is that either works stops when he's gone or that it is done by hired hands or contractors. Yes I've brought in some help, but I've also finished walls, cleared constructions debris, stuffed insulation and vapour barrier, finished drywall, and laid floor.

trouble with a capital "T"

One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, d*mn it where's three. Monster number three is truly living up to her name, and more days than not I'm beginning to feel like the Robin who lost her "small blue egg" on Little Bear (I know, my kids definitely watch more than 60 minutes of TV a day). Problem is she's quick and wants to explore uninterrupted, poke around, have some fun. I don't think she means to be a terror, but man does my heart stop when I can't find her, and I can't help but pause for a moment, shake my head in disbelief, before I charge out the door to catch up with the terrible toddler who thinks she's big enough to find her own way home.

I can almost here her now "See ya later ma. People to see, things to do. I promise I'll come crying back in a few."

the longest week ever

Longest week ever, but I think it's more than that. April feels like it is never going to end; spring is never going to come; I'm getting old, and am beginning to believe that I will never again wake up refreshed and ready to face the day.

Twenty five days gone and five to go. So far this month J- (who sailed home last month) has been around long enough to stirred the pot, alter all our routines, celebrate one early birthday, and stay up all night working on some you've-got-your- priorities-screwed-up-project more than once. Only to be driven to the airport at 4am where he escaped and flew as far away from us and the never ending noise, mess, work, and general chaos as he could without leaving the country for most of the until mid-July. Of course all this change in routine has result in O-, Iz, and I all losing our minds and our tempers. I took my frustrations out on my husband (who totally deserves whatever he gets!), while the girls have been taking most of their frustrations out on me. Birthday parties, taxes, a never ending reno. I think we are all feeling like dog poop 'round here. I'd pray for May, or summer, or good weather, but what I really need is a whole house and/or a big o' truck to stick my camper on so the me and my crew can escape the chaos for a few days whenever the going gets tough.

lazy day

Daddy left on an airplane yesterday, and 'cause we miss him already, and because I'm the boss and say we can, Monday became a mellow out lazy day. The girls and I lounged and napped in the big bed, and ate a stupid amount of donuts, leftover birthday cake, and any other sugary, starchy, not so good for you treats. Let the good times roll! Oh, and don't bother chastising me, I payed for my sloth today.

look what i found

I need to move my stuff. It was the closed bathroom door and eerie silence that gave her away. Iz and Baby Hey as happy as two pigs in poo trying out all my lipsticks and serving themselves to my meds. Now that was scary, I was in a mad panic until I found the last pill dropped and forgotten in my bedroom doorway. Yep, definitely need to move my stuff.

This child will not nap!

This child will not nap, she is so afraid she's going to miss something that she cries and screams all afternoon instead of just giving in and rest for a bit. Personally all the crying from her and whining from the middle monster is driving me a bit batty. I think I need a vacation.